A Winter’s Tale – reposted from 9/20/2004

Once on a very cold New Year’s Eve, I was invited up to Vermont along with a few of my friends. Stacy’s family owned a Swiss Chalet type of home up there. I decided to ride up with a guy named Mitchell and this girl he was hopelessly pursuing. When we left Queens, NY the temperature was about 2 degrees above zero. I knew that it was going to be colder in Vermont but I went anyway since everyone else was heading there.

I sat in the back seat of Mitchell’s car while he drove. Gayle, the girl sat in the front passenger seat. About an hour into the ride I told Mitchell I was freezing and asked if he would turn up the heat. He said, “what heat”? “The heater doesn’t work.” Oh boy! Not only that, there was a hole in the floorboard right near my feet which made it even worse. All things considered I knew at that point I should have stayed home. If I were equipped with that information beforehand I would have stayed home. I froze for the whole ride and to top it off, when we got to Vermont, we got stuck in the snow on a mountain road. We were stuck there for quite some time until we were rescued by the local Police, who pulled us out with a 4 wheel drive vehicle of some sorts.

By the time we got to the Chalet, I was frozen solid. Stacy had a Jacuzzi there and as soon as I saw it, I jumped in so I could warm up. I stayed in it for about 2 hours. The house was cold too. The temperature outside was about 20 below. Much too cold for me.

The next morning, Mitchell had to go back to NYC. I went back with him. I knew I would have to suffer the discomfort of no heater but at least I didn’t have to sit next to that hole in the floorboard. I got to ride in the front this time because Gayle (his heart’s desire) stayed up there. The only reason he drove up was to take her. He was always at her beck and call. Everyone but he knew that he wouldn’t succeed in getting her. He tried for a long time until she wound up in the arms of another man.

While everyone else went skiing, Mitch and I went home to NYC. The ride wasn’t as bad as the night before. The temperature warmed up to the 20’s which was much more bearable. When I got back to New York, winter seemed a little better than the night before, yellow snow and all. Needless to say, I’m not looking forward to winter.

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Jones Beach Sunset



Jones Beach Sunset, originally uploaded by tommylane.

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Jones Beach



Jones Beach, originally uploaded by tommylane.

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Earl’s partial personality.

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8/21/10

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Token Booth Closed at 23rd Street, Chelsea

I think it’s sad. What do you think?

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True Story: The Missing Tools

My father was a diesel mechanic. He used to keep his tools, which were not inexpensive and were his livelihood, in a large tool box in the trunk of his huge Chrysler. You could usually tell when the tools were in there because the weight of them would make the back end of the car sink lower to the ground.

One day, my father noticed the car wasn’t sinking low to the ground. He opened the trunk to find that the tool box and all of it’s contents were gone.

After he told me, I immediately had a suspect in mind. There was this guy that lived next door who was notorious for his drug use and subsequent thievery. I told my father, “I think it was him, Dad!” He looked surprised that I suspected him but I followed my hunch.

I knocked on this neighbor’s door. He answered, let me inside and we climbed the stairs to his living room. Calmly, I told him, with a few choice words and not so idle threats, that my father’s tools better be back in his trunk by tomorrow morning or else. Of course, he denied stealing them; said he would never do such a thing. Well, to make a longer story short, the tools were back in my father’s car trunk the next morning. Haha. My father was happy.

I related this story to a shop owner friend of mine, this morning. He was watering his plants in front of his shop when I noticed that the planters were chained and locked down. I said, “if you didn’t have those plant boxes chained down, they’d be stolen, wouldn’t they?” He said, “it already happened. They took everything. It cost over $200.00 to replace it!”

For some reason it triggered my memory about the tool box, so I told him the story. He was keeling over with laughter when he heard the tools were back in the trunk. “That guy was stupid,” he said. He sure was! Haha.

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The Big Squeeze (originally posted on September 15, 2005)

Sooooooooooooo, yesterday I was sitting comfortably on the V train commuting to work. My commute is about a half an hour from the time I get on the train. During that time I read the paper for a few minutes and then doze off for a little while until I get to my stop. I don’t get enough sleep during the week and the nap helps. I like to sit on the end where there is a partition that I can lean against. It’s almost everyone’s favorite seat, I think. It is part of a 3 seat bench that has the indentation where your butt is supposed to fit right in. Sitting right next to me was a slender woman and right next to her was an average size man. When the doors opened up at Roosevelt Avenue, the man on the end got up and disembarked the train. The girl who was next to me slid over leaving the seat in the middle empty. As she was sliding over, a woman boarded the train who was no less than 350 lbs. and decided she was going to sit in that empty seat. I was thinking to myself, “oh no, why did that girl have to move over?” because this obese woman could not possibly fit into that small space without causing someone discomfort.

Suddenly, she turned around and positioned herself for her descent. When her rear end became level with the seat, she swiped her body to the left, then to the right and started to inch herself very carefully into that small opening. At first she was sitting on the edge but eventually, within the time frame of a few train stops, her spine was up against the back of the seat. I lost control of my arms as I was being compressed into the partition on my right. The left side of my body was starting to sweat and feel uncomfortable because of the fat that was overlapping onto me. I saw people staring, probably wondering how I felt being all squished up like that. This woman didn’t even say “excuse me”. I tried as hard as I could to bear with the situation but alas I couldn’t take it any longer. It took all of my energy to pull myself up out of that seat. It felt like a vacuum was created behind me as I rose up. When I was finally free I stood in front of her holding onto a rail. She had to know why I got up. She needed two seats. She eventually got them without a single word being uttered. That’s what I call throwing one’s weight around.

Eventually, another seat became available and I was able to sit down for a few stops but I never got that nap I needed.

It would have been nicer for her to make a request such as “do you mind if I sit down because in my present condition I can’t stand up comfortably?” Or something to that effect. I’m not angry about it, I just think it’s a funny story.

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Trader Joe’s Chelsea, NYC

Trader Joe’s at 675 Ave of the Americas, opened it’s doors for the first time at 8am this morning. Everyone that walked through the doors was applauded. I will be hopefully be doing some shopping there later, today, if lines permit. I took a quick tour of the front of the store. It’s pretty nice, so are the prices. I can still hear the fanfare from inside the building where I work.

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Beware of the Wet Seat

This puddle which was directly across from where I was sitting, was probably noticeably bigger before the man who was cursing out the subway system sat in it this morning without looking first. The seat of his pants were soaked. Anything like this ever happen to you? It has definitely happened to me. Photo taken a few minutes after the incident. haha (photo taken 2006)

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